Someone shared these over at Darknest Fantasy Erotica. I thought readers here would probably enjoy them as well!
I suppose if you’ve never played any sort of electronic game since the advent of “achievements” they might look a little odd. But then, I see my grandmother getting achievements for playing Scrabble on Facebook these days. Anyone that’s reading a blog is probably familiar with the concept.
Without further adieu, achievements for erotica writers (with my own limited successes checked off):
[x]Cherry Popping – Publish First Story.
[ ]Dirty Thirty – Publish 30 stories.
[ ]Filthy Fifty – Publish 50 stories.
[x]Minute Man – Write a full short in a day.
[x]Feel the Carpal Tunnel – Write 10,000 words in a day.
[ ]I Guess What I’m Saying is Bukakke – End a story with the protagonist drowning in it.
[ ]Outearning the Day Job – Earn $100 in a day.
[ ]The 1% – Earn Five Digits of Income in a Month.
[ ]Your Author Rank Is Not a Video Game – Hit the Top 100 Amazon authors in any category
[ ]Did I Just Read a Story About Me? – Write a story about a real sexual experience you had and email a link of it to the other participant(s)
[ ]Well, At Least Someone Read It – Hit the Top 100 Erotica Free list
[ ]Well, At Least I’m Rich Now – Hit the Top 100 Erotica Paid List
[ ]King Nothing – Hit #1 on the Free erotica list.
[x]Setting Feminism Back a Hundred Years – Publish a Breeding Story.
[x]Fucking Freaks – Write a Monster/Tentacle sotry.
[ ]Full House…of Fucking – Publish a PI story with each hetero pairing. (Father/Daughter, Brother/Sister, Mother/Son)
[ ]Not Quite World Famous – You have at least 10 fans in your email list.
[x]Just Don’t Look – Went a whole day without checking your sales reports
[ ]The Moon My Pack Howls To is Green – Publish a Werewolf Story.
[ ] Just Call Me Alexandre – Publish one million words in a year.
[ ]Sticky Pages – Sell a paperback.
[ ]Aural Sex – Sell an audiobook.
[ ]Is There A Gif For How I’m Feeling? – Get at least one review on Goodreads.
[X]I Am Secretly An Important Man – Have more than one penname.
[ ]Hot Manlove Pays The Bills – Publish a Gay Male story.
Good fun! What are yours? Feel free to copy-paste to the comments, or steal for your own blog. And I’m sure we could come up with a few more, if people wanted to make up their own…